Down to my bones I feel the cold
sting of betrayal as I sit, shivering, alone.
I tell you that I need space to heal.
I need to take some time apart
from you so I can mourn this loss.
When you leave, turn out the light.
I can’t breathe, so I turn on the light
hoping it will make the cold
bed feel warmer, but the loss
of sleep reminds me I’m scared to be alone.
My mind wanders; thoughts rip me apart,
convincing me that I will never heal.
Is there any hope to heal
after years of avoiding the light?
Too scared of tearing apart
everything we’ve built. Am I cold-
hearted for leaving you alone
as we each bear our own loss?
I search my mind, but I am at a loss
for words to try to help you heal.
So I just leave you alone
as I wait for the upstairs light
to turn off and spare you the cold
shoulder. It’s better that we’re apart.
For years, we’ve never been apart
longer than a few weeks. Now the loss
of trust has turned my heart cold.
I wonder if the only way to heal
is to search for my own light
and walk a new path alone.
Then, I remember. I am not alone.
Even though you & I are apart,
I carry within me a Light
that creates gain from loss.
Here, I find the hope to heal.
Raising life from bones gone cold.
So please. Leave me alone as I process this loss.
This time apart is the only way I can heal.
Somehow light shines brighter when it’s cold.